Chesterfield's Hidden Gem: Riverside Hotel Ascend Collection Luxury Awaits!
Chesterfield's Hidden Gem: Riverside Hotel Ascend Collection - A Review That Doesn't Hold Back! (And Really Needs That SEO!)
Okay, alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the Riverside Hotel Ascend Collection, this supposed "Hidden Gem" in Chesterfield. And let me tell you, after my stay, I've got opinions. This ain't your glossy travel brochure, this is REAL. And because the internet overlords demand it, we'll sprinkle in some SEO magic along the way. Think: Chesterfield hotel, luxury accommodation, accessible hotel, spa hotel Chesterfield – you get the drill. Let's GO!
First Impressions - A Little Jittery (Accessibility and Safety)
Finding the hotel was easy enough. Accessibility, well, that's where things get interesting. Right from the get-go, I was checking things out. The entrance? Pretty flat, easy access. Elevator – check! Big thumbs up! I'm happy to report the elevator was spacious, and the common areas seemed thoughtfully designed for wheelchair users. Now, mind you, I'm not a wheelchair user, but I appreciate seeing this done right. There are Facilities for disabled guests. Crucial.
Now, Cleanliness and safety is THE buzzword these days, isn't it? And the Riverside Hotel does try. They've got the whole shebang: Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Staff trained in safety protocol, and the Rooms sanitized between stays. That's reassuring. They also have Hand sanitizer everywhere, which is GREAT. I felt relatively safe, though, honestly, you can never truly know, can you? I did notice the Fire extinguisher and Smoke alarms… always a good sign! And the CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property… keeping an eye on things.
Rooms: Comfortable, But Not Always Perfect
Let's be honest, the rooms are key. And the rooms here were a mixed bag. Mine had a nice window that opens – THANK GOODNESS, I hate stuffy rooms. Air conditioning worked like a dream. Plus, the Blackout curtains were perfect for sleep-ins. I'm a big fan of Free bottled water (hydration is essential!) and the Coffee/tea maker was a lifesaver after a long day. Bathrobes and Slippers? Luxury achieved.
However… and here's the "but"… the Bathroom was a little cramped. The Shower was fine, but I’ve seen better, the Mirror placement was a bit awkward, and I'm pretty sure the hair dryer was from the 80s. I like a bathtub, and unfortunately my room didn't have one, but seeing as the hotel offers Separate shower/bathtub in other rooms, I can't complain too much.
They do offer quite a few things, though. Things like, Alarm clock, Desk, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Linens, Mini bar, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Smoke detector, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Wake-up service, and even additional toilet!
Internet - The Tech Test
Internet Access, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!, Wi-Fi in public areas: yep, they've got it. Crucial for the digitally addicted amongst us (me!). The Wi-Fi was generally okay, but it did have its moments of… shall we say… hesitation. Internet [LAN]? I didn't even bother trying it. Who uses LAN anymore? Plus, I have the feeling I wouldn't know how to use it.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - A Culinary Adventure (Sometimes Messy!)
Restaurants… Restaurants… Okay, let's talk about food. They have Restaurants, Coffee shops, a Bar, and a Poolside bar. Room service [24-hour] – bless their hearts! I actually spent a good chunk of my time simply relaxing in the pool-side bar and thought the atmosphere was very charming.
The Breakfast [buffet] was… fine. Buffet in restaurant. The usual suspects: Western breakfast, Asian breakfast, Coffee/tea in restaurant. Let’s just say the Soup in restaurant wasn't the best. A la carte in restaurant? Haven't tried. International cuisine in restaurant? It was a bit bland, sadly. They also have Desserts in restaurant and Salad in restaurant. A few more Alternative meal arrangement were available, which I thought was kind.
I also had a fantastic time utilizing the Happy hour. The Bottle of water was a godsend, in all honesty. They also had the Snack bar.
Things To Do - Ways to Relax (Spa and Fitness!)
This is where the Riverside really shines, folks. The Spa! Spa/sauna, Sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool. Oh, sweet heavenly joy. I spent a good chunk of my stay lost in the Spa. Seriously, the Massage was divine. Body wrap? Heaven. Body scrub? Yes, please! And the Pool with view? Stunning. The Swimming pool [outdoor] was gorgeous.
If that isn't your thing, they also have a Fitness center and a Gym/fitness. I'm not a gym person, really, but I peeked and it looked well-equipped. They even had a Foot bath!
Services and Conveniences - The Practicalities (and Some Quirks)
They have Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Elevator, Dry cleaning, Laundry service, Luggage storage, and Cash withdrawal. All the usual suspects to make your life easier. Currency exchange. Not a bad choice. They also have things like Invoice provided, Meeting/banquet facilities, and even Audio-visual equipment for special events.
However… they also have a Shrine. Yes, a shrine! I think a lot of hotels have them too. Which is fine, to each their own, but it was… unexpected. It's those little details that make you go, "…huh?".
I found the staff friendly, from the Front desk [24-hour] to the cleaning crew. The Contactless check-in/out was a nice touch in these post-pandemic times. They also have Car park [free of charge] and Car park [on-site].
For the Kids - Family Friendly?
I didn’t travel with kids, BUT they have things like a Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, and Kids meal. So, if you're hauling the little monsters, you're covered.
For the Business Traveler:
Air conditioning in public area is important. They also have Business facilities. They also have Meeting stationery to write important business meetings.
Quibbles and Pet Peeves
Okay, some minor things. The Staff trained in safety protocol was good, but sometimes the service was a little slow. And, while I appreciate the effort, a Shrine in the lobby? Maybe not essential.
The Emotional Verdict - Would I Go Back?
Honestly? Yes. Despite the little imperfections, the Riverside Hotel has a certain charm. The spa experience alone is worth the trip. The location is good (cheapest car park I've ever used!). However, it's not a perfect experience, like a rough diamond, it does need polishing in a few areas. But, overall, I really enjoyed it. Therefore, I would say, that if you're looking for a luxury Chesterfield Hotel experience, this is a great place to visit, as long as you can look past a few imperfections!
The Offer: Book Your Riverside Retreat!
LIMITED TIME OFFER: Experience the "Hidden Gem" for yourself! Book a stay at the Riverside Hotel Ascend Collection now and enjoy:
- Complimentary Spa Access: That's right, unlimited bliss in the sauna, steam room, and pools!
- 15% Discount: Off your entire stay, because you deserve it!
- Free Breakfast: A delicious start to your day, included in your package!
But hurry, this offer vanishes faster than a bad review! Visit our website or call NOW to book your escape to Chesterfield's finest. Don't miss out on this opportunity to relax, rejuvenate, and experience sheer luxury!
(Remember to include a link to their booking page and any relevant contact information.)
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Riverside Rumble: A Chesterfield Chaos Itinerary (Ascend Hotel Edition)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we’re about to dive headfirst into a Chesterfield adventure, peppered with questionable decisions, questionable pizza, and the questionable charm of yours truly. This isn't your polished, Instagram-perfect travel guide; this is a straight-up, slightly-unhinged account of my time at the Riverside Hotel. Prepare for whiplash.
Day 1: Arrival, Awkwardness, and the Pursuit of the Perfect Burger
1:00 PM - Check-in: Anxiety and a Surprisingly Smooth Start
I arrive. This is it. Chesterfield. The heart flutters. Or maybe that's just the lukewarm coffee I chugged at the gas station. The lobby is…functional. Neutral tones, a slightly sad-looking potted plant, and a receptionist whose name I think was Brenda. Brenda was efficient, which is a blessing, because I always feel like a total idiot at check-in, fumbling with my ID and mumbling about "single occupation." Room key acquired! Operation, find my room and avoid eye contact.
1:30 PM - Room Reconnaissance: The Carpet Conspiracy and the Questionable Artwork
Okay, the room. It's…clean. That's a win. The carpet, though…it has a pattern that looks like it's actively trying to hypnotize me. I'm pretty sure I saw a rogue dust bunny. The artwork? Let's just say it's…abstract. I spend a solid five minutes trying to decipher what the artist was going for. My conclusion: they were either very talented, or deeply, deeply confused. Or both.
2:30 PM - Lunch: Burger Odyssey - Attempt 1
My stomach is rumbling. Time for burgers! I'd heard tales of a legendary burger joint nearby. I set off, armed with Google Maps (which, as always, is my questionable guide). I make it to the restaurant but it's CLOSED. Sigh.
3:00 PM - Retail Therapy & Regret:
I wind up at a generic shopping center. I buy a ridiculous t-shirt that says "I heart Chesterfield" (irony is my middle name). I then immediately feel a wave of buyer's remorse. What have I become?
5:00 PM - Back to the Hotel - And a Quick Nap, Because Adulting Is Exhausting:
I nap. I blame jet lag, but honestly, I think it's just the sheer emotional rollercoaster of checking into a hotel. Waking up is the only part of the day I'm looking forward to.
7:00 PM - Dinner: Burger Odyssey - Attempt 2: The Triumph of Cheese
I find a different burger place, closer to the hotel. This time, success! The burger is…well, it's glorious. Perfectly cooked, gooey cheese, crispy fries. I inhale it. No regrets. Except maybe for the extra large soda.
8:30 PM - Evening Entertainment – Doodling During TV Break:
Back in my room. I watch TV while doodling in my notebook. Because that's what cool, sophisticated travelers do. Actually, the TV remote is weird; I can’t seem to figure out how to turn the thing off. I feel like a complete tech-illiterate idiot. But I find the perfect doodling material.
9:30 PM - Bedtime: Staring at the Ceiling and Contemplating Life Decisions
I stare at the ceiling. I do a lot of thinking in the dark. I silently judge the dust bunny I saw earlier. This day wasn’t perfect, but the burger was. Sleep.
Day 2: The Day I Became a History Buff (Kinda), and the Quest for Decent Coffee
7:00 AM - Wake-up to the Sound of the Freeway & Coffee Chaos:
The freeway is loud. And I'm officially out of coffee supplies. I need coffee. Desperately. This is a crisis.
7:30 AM - The Coffee Quest: A Comedy of Errors
I hit the hotel's complimentary coffee maker. It’s…weak. Like, really, really weak. I contemplate drinking it, but my caffeine withdrawal is already setting in, so I ditch the plan and try to find a decent coffee shop. This becomes a mission of epic proportions.
8:30 AM - Breakfast: The Continental Catastrophe:
The "complimentary" breakfast. Let's just say it's very…continental. Stale bagels, questionable-looking fruit, and the kind of yogurt that has the consistency of wallpaper paste. I eat a bagel because I'm starving and make mental note to find something better.
9:00 AM - History & Heartbreak - The Chesterfield Historical Society:
Alright, let’s get cultural! I decide to visit a local history exhibit, thinking I could learn something. I spend at least twenty minutes trying to understand the layout of the exhibits. I think I’d rather go back to my room and stare at the ceiling.
12:00 PM- Lunch Time:
I'm hungry again! This is my fifth meal of the day, but I do have that "I heart Chesterfield" shirt to show off. I decide to revisit the burger place across the street from the hotel, because the only thing better than one burger is two burgers.
1:00 PM - The Pool: Brief Dip, Deep Regret
Feeling adventurous, I try the hotel pool. It's…cold. And slightly crowded. This is not a spa paradise. I last about five minutes.
3:00 PM - The Afternoon Snooze:
I take a well-deserved nap. I'm starting to think naps are the true highlight of the trip.
7:00 PM - Dinner: Pizza Predicament:
Pizza! The holy grail! I order from a place with great reviews. The pizza arrives…it’s not great. The crust is soggy, the cheese is questionable. I eat it anyway, because pizza. I try not to dwell on the fact that I am, once again, deeply unsatisfied.
8:30 PM - Packing + TV:
I start packing my things. Watch TV. The end.
11:00 PM - Bedtime: More Ceiling-Gazing, More Existential Dread
Another night, another ceiling. I think I might be developing a mild obsession with it. I wonder what the architects of the Riverside Hotel were thinking. This is a good life.
Day 3: Departure & the Untamed Mystery of Riverside Hotel
7:00 AM - Wake-up, Freak Out:
It's time to go! Packing, checkout, the whole shebang. Briefly consider staying forever, but I have a cat that needs me.
8:00 AM - Checkout Chaos: Brenda's Return
Brenda! (Still pretty sure that was her name.) Checkout is mercifully swift. I manage to hand in my room key without any major social blunders. Victory!
8:30 AM - Breakfast of Champions & Goodbye:
One last sad bagel and the hotel's weak coffee. Then, it's goodbye to the Riverside Hotel. Despite the awkwardness, the questionable pizza, and the hypnotic carpet, a tiny part of me will maybe, sort of, miss the place. Maybe.
9:00 AM - Freedom:
I depart. I consider going back to Chesterfield, and then I decide I'd rather not. And I hope I return to the town someday, for a visit, or maybe not. But until then, I'll think about the Riverside Hotel.
In Conclusion:
The Riverside Hotel wasn’t perfect. It was messy, imperfect, and sometimes, just plain ridiculous. But that’s life, isn’t it? And sometimes, a slightly-off-kilter adventure is just what you need. Now, I'm off to detox from all the cheese and contemplate my next ill-advised travel plan. Until next time, Chesterfield! Stay…weird.
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Riverside Hotel Ascend Collection: The Dirt, the Jewels, and Me (Mostly Me, TBH)
Alright, spill the beans. Is this Riverside Hotel REALLY as "luxury" as they claim? My wallet is crying already.
Okay, okay, deep breaths. Luxury? Hmm. "Luxury" in the hotel world is a sliding scale, isn't it? Look, the lobby? Stunning. Seriously. Marble floors, chandeliers… it's the kind of place where you slightly adjust your posture just *in case* a Duchess wanders past. My first thought? "Ooh, I *feel* fancy!"
Then you get to the rooms… and here's where things get a *little* more real. Mine was lovely, don’t get me wrong. Big bed, fluffy pillows (essential!), modern bathroom. BUT… and this is a small but significant "but"... the grout in the shower? Could have used a good scrubbing. And the air conditioning? Slightly temperamental. It kept going full-on arctic blast in the middle of the night. I woke up shivering, convinced I'd accidentally wandered into the North Pole. So, yes, luxurious-ish. Beautifully *appointed* is probably a better description. Expect a sprinkle of imperfection with your fancy.
Is the location actually "riverside"? Because "riverside adjacent" is a BIG letdown sometimes.
Oh, *yes*. Proper riverside. You walk out, and bam! River. A charming, gently-flowing river. It's lovely for a stroll, a bit of pondering, you know? I even saw a heron! A heron, people! (Okay, I'm easily impressed.) It's a *huge* plus. The views from some of the rooms are probably spectacular. I didn't spring for a riverside view (budget, honey!). But even just being *near* it, listening to the water, it's peaceful. It's the kind of place you'd actually *want* to sit and drink your morning coffee, rather than gulping it down stood in your underwear, late for work. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
What about the service? Are the staff… you know… *helpful*? Or just supercilious and judging?
Okay, this is *vital*. The staff were largely *great*. Really, really helpful. But, and there's always a "but". There was this one guy at the front desk. A young man, impeccably dressed, who, I swear, looked down his nose at me when I asked where the nearest supermarket was. I felt like I'd asked him to personally source me a unicorn's horn. He eventually pointed me in the general direction with a sigh that could have powered a small city. Other than him though, the rest of the staff were absolutely lovely. The breakfast waiter was charming and incredibly attentive. He practically refilled my coffee cup before I'd finished the last sip, which is always a win in my book. So, mostly helpful. Unicorn horn procurement abilities? Questionable.
The food! Tell me about the food. Is it worth the inevitable price tag?
Right. The food. Okay, breakfast was included in my deal, which was a godsend. The buffet was decent, classic hotel breakfast fare. Standard stuff: bacon, eggs, pastries, the works. The quality was… fine. Nothing to write home about, but filled the hole. And the COFFEE! The coffee was superb. Saved me.
Dinner… now that was a different kettle of fish. I splashed out one night at the hotel restaurant, and… well, let's just say my wallet is *still* recovering. The food was expertly prepared, beautifully presented, the whole shebang. But honestly? It wasn't *mind-blowingly* delicious. Was it worth the price? Ehhh… Probably not, if I'm being totally honest. I'd say consider eating out, particularly if you're on a budget. There *are* some lovely options nearby, I vaguely recall seeing some pubs with proper hearty meals, when I wasn't hyper-focused on judging the waiter's every breath, that is. But if you fancy blowing some cash, and have a special occasion to celebrate then maybe. I wouldn't do it again personally, though.
Alright, let’s talk about the "Ascend Collection" bit. What does THAT even *mean*?
Honestly? I'm not entirely sure. I poked around their website, tried to glean some deep meaning, some secret code. It sounds fancy. "Ascend," suggesting upward mobility, reaching for the stars, blah blah blah. I think it mainly means it's part of a chain. And a fairly *good* chain at that! So it carries some of the standards of a known brand - Cleanliness, amenities. And hopefully the quality is consistent between hotels. But don't go expecting some secret society initiation. It's just… branding. Marketing. Don't let it overawe you. You're there for the hotel, the experience - not the label!
Anything else I MUST know before booking? Any hidden gems (or disasters) you encountered?
Okay, a few things. First of all, PARKING! Parking can be a bit of a pain. The hotel has its own car park, but it's small. I got lucky, but I can see it being a nightmare during peak season. Factor that into your planning. Secondly, noise. My room was relatively quiet, but I'm a light sleeper. I'd investigate the room location beforehand if that's a concern. Ask for a back room. Thirdly, the bar! The bar was actually pretty decent. They have a good selection of cocktails. I had a particularly potent Martini, and *that* was a positive experience. And finally… walk around Chesterfield! It's a lovely town. Don't just hole yourself up in the hotel. Explore! It adds to the overall experience! I loved the crooked spire church! It was all wonderful.
Oh! And one more thing – and this is *important* – the lift situation. The lift (elevator) is SLOW. Seriously. It moves at a glacial pace. I spent a significant portion of my stay waiting for that lift. So, if you're on the ground floor, walk! If you're impatient (like me), pack a book and prepare for a long wait. Or, you know, get some extra steps in and take the stairs. It’s up to you. Overall? Would I go back? Yeah, probably. Just maybe not the restaurant again…
