Escape to Paradise: Club Morocco's All-Inclusive Subic Bay Luxury!
Escape to Paradise: Club Morocco - More Than Meets the Brochure? (Subic Bay, Oh Boy!)
Okay, so Escape to Paradise: Club Morocco. That's a mouthful, isn't it? Sounds like they’re promising the moon, right? Well, I've been there, done that, survived the buffet (mostly). So, buckle up, because this review ain't gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. It's gonna be real. And probably a little messy. Just like my suitcase after the trip.
First Impressions (The Good, The…Meh, and The "What Were They Thinking?")
Arrived in Subic Bay, a bit frazzled after the airport transfer (more on that later, UGH). But, the first thing that slapped me in the face? That lobby. Think opulent, Moorish-inspired (obviously), with lots of dark wood and…well, let's call it a presence. The elevator? Yes, there's an elevator. So, Accessibility gets a check. And good for them, because after the journey, my legs needed it. Plus, they have a Facilities for disabled guests… good for them!
Rooms: My Sanctuary (and Occasional Battleground)
My room? Available in all rooms: They have Air conditioning (thank GOD, it’s hot!), Alarm clock (mostly ignored), Bathrobes (yes!), Bathroom phone (why?), Bathtub (score!), Blackout curtains (essential!), Closet (needed!), Coffee/tea maker (thank the heavens!), Complimentary tea (nice touch!), Daily housekeeping (they tried their best!), Desk (yup, useful for my urgent emails!), Extra long bed (yay, I'm tall!), Free bottled water (always welcomed!), Hair dryer (essential!), High floor (got the view!), In-room safe box (paranoid me loved it), Ironing facilities (never used it), Laptop workspace (again, urgent emails!), Linens (mostly clean!), Mini bar (expensive!), Mirror (needed!), Non-smoking, Slippers (ahhh!), Smoke detector (phew!), Socket near the bed (genius!), Sofa (comfy!), Soundproofing (kinda), Telephone (who uses these anymore?), Toiletries (meh), Towels (plenty), Umbrella (pointless!), Wake-up service (never used it!), Wi-Fi [free] (more on that later), Window that opens (needed that fresh air!).
Internet – The Digital Struggle is Real:
Okay, let's get real about the Internet. They brag about Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! (and Internet access – wireless…duh!), which is…technically true. I managed to connect. Sometimes. Mostly, I spent more time staring at the spinning circle of doom than actually doing anything. Internet access – LAN exists or at least it's in the description. I couldn't be bothered. Internet services are there, I guess. Prepare for some digital frustration. I spent more time walking to the Internet cafe.
Food, Glorious, Questionable Food:
The Dining experience was…an experience. Let's start with the good: the Asian breakfast was decent, and they have a Vegetarian restaurant as well. Asian cuisine in restaurant was enjoyable. Breakfast [buffet] (the main event!).. It was massive, a chaotic scrum of hungry tourists. Let's be honest. Food variety was huge and they had Breakfast takeaway service, which was fun. I love chaos!
Then there's the stuff where I'm still deciding if I liked or didn't like, like the western cuisine in restaurant and the International cuisine in restaurant. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was okay at best.
The not-so-great: The Buffet in restaurant was loud. And sometimes, the food felt like it had been sitting there for seven hours. I tried a soup, and I wasn't a huge fan. However, they had a Poolside bar, which was fun. The Snack bar made up for some of it. Bottle of water available was great. Desserts in restaurant were probably the highlight.
The Spa: Promises, Promises (and One AMAZING Massage)
Okay, here's where things get interesting. The Spa is…extensive. They've got a Body scrub, a Body wrap, a Foot bath, Massage (OMG, the massage…more on that later), a Pool with view, Sauna, Spa/sauna, Steamroom.
Now, I went in wanting a full-blown spa day. And the massage? Chef's kiss. The therapist, a little woman with hands of steel, worked out knots I didn't even know I had. Absolutely divine experience.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (Beyond the Massage)
They have a Gym/fitness center. Didn't go. Nope. Too busy relaxing. They have a Swimming pool and a Swimming pool [outdoor], so that's good.
Cleanliness and Safety: Hope…and Hand Sanitizer:
They have Anti-viral cleaning products, and Daily disinfection in common areas, and they use Hand sanitizer. They should. I saw one dude coughing directly onto the buffet. So, again, hopefully, with Rooms sanitized between stays, and Staff trained in safety protocol, you'll be safe.
Services and Conveniences: A Mixed Bag
They have a Cash withdrawal, which is handy. Concierge was helpful, but a bit slow to do anything. Daily housekeeping tried their best. Elevator, again, a blessing. They also have Laundry service, and an Ironing service (didn't know it was there). Luggage storage and Safety deposit boxes are good.
Getting Around:
The Airport transfer was a NIGHTMARE. Traffic was brutal. The van was old. The driver looked like he'd been up for three days. Seriously, factor in a LOT of time. They also have a Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Taxi service.
For the Kids:
Saw some kids running around. They have Babysitting service and Kids meal.
Final Verdict:
Escape to Paradise: Club Morocco? Well, "Paradise" is a strong word. It's more like a…pleasant, occasionally frustrating, sometimes amazing, definitely memorable…getaway. It has its flaws. The Wi-Fi is a joke. The buffet can be a gamble (and often is). But that massage… oh, that massage. And the location in Subic Bay is gorgeous. Would I go back? Maybe. Armed with a LOT of patience, a pocketful of sanitizer, and a burning desire for another massage. And this time, I'm bringing my own fast Internet.
Istana Griya 2 Hotel: Solo's BEST Kept Secret (RedPartner Deal!)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the glorious, chaotic, slightly sunburnt mess that was my trip to Club Morocco Resort & Country Club in Subic, Zambales, Philippines. Forget your perfectly curated Instagram feeds, you are about to get the real, unfiltered story. Let’s be honest, planning this trip was about as organized as a toddler’s sock drawer, but hey, that’s half the fun, right?
Day 1: Arrival and the Curse of the Checked Bag
Morning (aka, the “I-Should-Have-Left-Earlier” Saga): Okay, alarm goes off. Nope. Snooze. Repeat. Finally, I'm up, frantically stuffing half my wardrobe into a suitcase while simultaneously trying to remember where I put my passport (spoiler alert: it was in the kitchen). Traffic in Manila? Don't even get me started. It was a slow crawl, a teeth-gritting, "are-we-there-yet?" kind of crawl.
Mid-day Arrival (or, the "Where's My Suitcase?" Blues): Arrived at Club Morocco! First impressions? Wow. The architecture is absolutely stunning. The air is thick with that salty, tropical smell that instantly melts away all the stress of the drive. I swear, for a moment, I was actually excited. Then came the dreaded checked baggage situation. My bag… was missing. Gone. Vanished into the ether. Panic? Nah. Just a mild, internal scream. Spent the next hour attempting to communicate with the front desk, my Tagalog skills proving (as always) utterly useless.
Early Afternoon (Poolside Mishaps and Culinary Curiosity): After the baggage fiasco, I was finally able to check in. The room was beautiful and I was ready to hit the pool. The pool area! Gorgeous. That's where reality hit me. The sun was searing, I was starving (thanks to a skipped breakfast), and the idea of actually swimming felt akin to doing a marathon. However, a cocktail was a must. So, I ordered a margarita and proceeded to clumsily attempt to take a selfie. Faceplant. Cocktail everywhere. Karma is real. After the incident, I decided to take a chance and go to their in-house restaurant. I ordered something (honestly, I can't even remember what it was), but it looked delicious so I took a bite. The food was good, but I was still not fully satisfied so I ordered some of the restaurant's specialty. I had two!
Evening (The First Sunset and the Search for Snacks): The saving grace of the day? The sunset. It was breathtaking, the sky exploding with fiery oranges and purples. I found a beachside swing and sat on it, mesmerized. This is what I needed, honestly. Eventually, the hunger returned, and I ventured out, scouring the resort for snacks. Turns out, the "snack bar" was a bit…limited. I ended up with a bag of questionable chips and a lukewarm Coke. But hey, beggars can't be choosers.
Day 2: The Labyrinth of Relaxation and an Overenthusiastic Massage
Morning (Beach Bliss…and Beach Bum Fail): Beach time! I was determined to be a morning person. I walked the beach and it was amazing. I ended up just sitting at the beach, watching the waves, and feeling deeply, ridiculously, and wonderfully relaxed. Life was good. The beach, the ocean, the sun… it was the perfect start. After a while, I was determined to get a tan. Well… I may have forgotten to reapply sunscreen. Let's just say I was a vibrant shade of lobster by late afternoon.
Mid-day (Massage Mania and the "Almost-Naked-in-Public" Incident): I booked a massage, which was bliss… until the therapist got a little too enthusiastic with the pressure. I swear, my shoulder blades are still screaming. Then, there was the whole "slipping-out-of-the-robe-while-walking-back-to-my-room" incident. Let's just say, the resort staff probably got an eyeful. Mortification level: high.
Early Afternoon (Poolside Again…and a Near Disaster of Aquatic Proportions): Okay, back to the pool. I was determined to redeem myself from yesterday's cocktail fiasco. This time, I had a plan: float. Just float. Everything was going well until… I drifted a little too far, and suddenly felt a strong current that almost pulled me under. Apparently, I spent a good moment flailing and gasping for air, until a friendly lifeguard who noticed me, helped me out. I promised myself, no more drifting.
Evening (Dinner Disaster and Karaoke Catastrophe): Dinner at the resort restaurant. It was a bit of a disaster. The steak was overcooked, the service was slow, and I was basically stewing in my own self-pity. Then, as I made my way back to my room, I heard the distant sounds of karaoke. Now, I can't sing. At all. But the lure of the microphone proved too strong. Let's just say, my rendition of a classic ballad earned me a few sympathetic smiles (and probably a lot of silent prayers). The night ended with me hiding in my room, nursing a lukewarm beer and contemplating the meaning of life.
Day 3: Finding Peace and Saying Goodbye (and the inevitable baggage update).
Morning (The Search for Sunrise Serenity): Determined to end on a high note, I woke up early, and walked to the beach to watch the sunrise. It was amazing, so lovely, a real moment of peace and clarity. I sat and enjoyed the quiet.
Mid-day (Souvenir Shopping and the Great Baggage Mystery): Time to find some souvenirs! Wandered around, searching for trinkets, and buying things that I don't need. Still no news on the missing bag. I called the airline again, with zero results. I'm starting to think it's gone to Narnia or something.
Afternoon (Farewell Feast and Reflection): Final delicious lunch! And a final chance to sit out and enjoy the sun. As I looked at the resort, this was all so beautiful and perfect.
Evening (Departure and the Beginning of the Next Chapter): Goodbye Club Morocco. Goodbye Subic. Goodbye perfectly-curated travel experiences. As I left, I took one last look back at the resort, and made a promise: I'd be more prepared, more organized, and less prone to public massage mishaps. And you know what? I will never forget that lost bag. And as I headed home, to my very own couch, I couldn't help but smile. Despite the chaos, despite the sunburn, despite the karaoke embarrassment, it had been an absolutely brilliant disaster. And I wouldn't have traded it for anything.
Escape to Paradise: Club Morocco – You *Sure* You Wanna Go? Let's Talk, Honestly.
So, like, "All-Inclusive Luxury"... What's the *Real* Deal? Did I Just Get Bamboozled?
Okay, okay, breathe. "All-inclusive" at Club Morocco? It's...complicated. See, I went in thinking, "Champagne showers, baby!" And let me tell you, while there WAS plenty of food and drinks, “luxury” definitely had some… let’s just say, interesting interpretations.
The food? Buffet mostly. Some days it was surprisingly good – think grilled seafood on the beach, genuinely delicious. Other days? Well, let's just say I became intimately acquainted with the "mystery meat" of the week. One breakfast, I SWEAR, I saw a guy try to sneak a whole platter of pancakes out. Dude looked *desperate*.
Drinks? Unlimited! Local beer, the standard cocktails, and... well, let's just say the ‘premium’ drinks were *extra* premium, and you probably wouldn't find them on the all-inclusive menu, or at least not without a hefty charge. But hey, free rum punch by the pool? Can't really complain about that.
Bottom line? Don't expect the Ritz. Expect a solid, good time, with some charmingly quirky aspects. Embrace the imperfections, and you'll be alright. Embrace the *extra* imperfections, and you might actually develop a great story to tell. (Which I have many)
The Rooms! Tell Me About the Rooms! (Are We Talking Mold and Bedbugs?)
Okay, the rooms. Deep breaths. I stayed in a "Moroccan Suite." The website photos? Definitely *embellished*. My first impression: "Okay, this is…bigger than my apartment…but also feels like it's been staged for a movie from the 70s". Think ornate carvings, a slightly dusty vibe, and… well, some interesting architectural choices.
Mold? Thankfully, no. Bedbugs? Also a no (thank GOD). Cleanliness was… good, but not obsessively so. You're in the tropics, folks. Expect a little humidity sneaking in. My shower, however, was an experience of its own. It took approximately nine minutes to warm up. Nine minutes of me jumping around freezing cold like an idiot. I almost considered skipping a shower just to avoid the icy wait. But eventually, steaming hot water arrives, always right at the perfect moment – you just had to learn to have patience. Some people might find this horrifying, I thought it was kind of charming.
My biggest issue? The air conditioning was like a moody teenager – sometimes working flawlessly, sometimes deciding to take a nap right in the hottest part of the day. Pack light, and bring a good book! And maybe a portable fan, just in case.
Activities, Activities! What's There to *DO* Besides Drink and Eat (Which, Let's Be Honest, is a Huge Part of the Appeal)?
Alright, so, you *can* do things that aren't just stuffing your face and sipping cocktails. (Though, let's be real, those are major perks.) Club Morocco is in Subic Bay, which has some gorgeous beaches – obviously. The resort itself has a pool (or three!), a spa (I didn't go, but the prices looked okay), and... a lot of opportunities to just *chill*. This might be a good time to mention, I saw a guy who was apparently on his honeymoon, and he did literally nothing but hang out in the pool – I never saw him leave the water. What a life!
Outside the resort? Subic Bay is a haven for watersports. Diving, snorkeling, jet skiing – the works. You can arrange excursions through the resort, or wander and explore the local options, which are usually less expensive. I went snorkeling. Great visibility. Saw a sea turtle! I probably spent more time faffing around trying to hold my breath, but It was worth it.
The evening entertainment at the resort... okay, it wasn't Broadway. There was karaoke, a band that played a lot of familiar covers (and a few you'd *never* heard of before!), and a couple of cultural shows. Embrace the cheese factor. It's part of the charm (most of the time).
The Staff... Are They Friendly? Do They Seem Miserable? (Honest Answers Only!)
The staff? Mixed bag, as you'd expect. Generally, they were lovely. Always a smile, always trying their best to help. Some, like the pool bar guys, were exceptionally attentive and remembered your drink order after the first day (bless their hearts). I swear, the bar attendant practically knew my name within the first hour.
I did see a few who looked a little…worn down. Long hours, demanding guests, the tropical heat… But even then, they remained professional and polite. A little tip goes a long way! I made friends with one of the housekeepers, who told me, she had 10 rooms to clean every day(!). So, I gave her an extra tip on my last day and wished her the best of luck.
Remember to be patient, be kind, and try to learn a few basic phrases in Filipino. It makes a difference. Seriously. And please, tip generously. You're on vacation; they're working hard.
So... Would You Go Back? (And be brutally honest!)
Hmm... good question. Honestly? In a heartbeat. Okay, maybe not *literally* a heartbeat, because getting there involves a long-ass flight followed by a car ride, but you get the idea.
Club Morocco isn't perfect. It's a bit rough around the edges. It doesn't feel like you're in a high-end hotel. But the imperfections? The quirky charm? That's what makes it memorable. This spot will give you a good story to tell for years – guaranteed. It’s laid back and easy going.
I’d go back for the sunsets over the bay. For the rum punch. For the fact that, for a few days, I could completely switch off. The value is there. And listen, sometimes you just need a getaway where you don't have to think too hard, and that is exactly what you'll get when you choose to spend a luxury holiday here.
Okay, Fine, I'm *Considering* Going. Any Insider Tips?
Alright, listen up, future Club Morocco-ers! Here's the real, unfiltered advice:
- Pack light! Seriously. You're going to be in warm weather. You don't need a lot. Embrace the freedom.
- Bring insect repellent. Those little critters can be relentless (especially in the evening).
- Bring cash for tips. And small bills! It makes a huge difference. Escape to Paradise: Stunning 2-Bed Hydean Way Home in Stevenage!
